If “Dating Girls” Was A Subject Taught In Singapore Schools…
(Disclaimer: This is not an exhaustive list. Obviously, the art of dating and understanding women is far deeper than what is presented here, and every guy who isn’t gay should make sure he is well aware of the subject of women before attempting to take the tests they dish out… or fail miserably and be graded with a huge “F”… Friend-Zone!)
If you are religiously staunch and the content offends you, feel free to hit the “x” button and go away. This stuff is for mature people and adults. Men and women exist to pro-create and reproduce. Don’t argue with nature.
Basic Rules 101:
- Don’t Be Creepy.
- Stalking her Facebook profile, and liking or commenting on every picture isn’t cool. Nor is posting tons of stuff on her wall. Don’t even go around asking interrogative questions about it on the date or in chat/text!
- Don’t Be Needy.
- Another overly enthusiastic & eager-to-please puppy-boy she doesn’t need in her life. She probably has plenty of those around and you definitely don’t want to be categorized as just another one of them.
- Have A Life!
- If you spend all day texting and trying to meet her… don’t you have anything better to do in life? There’s tons of goals & activities out there you should be achieving and doing. Why else would she see you as someone interesting to hang out with?
- Don’t Worship Her On An Altar!
- She wants to be appreciated for her personality and character, and not just all about her looks. She spends hours looking good, but most of it is to feel sexy (and to compete with other women).
- Balancing Give & Take
- If you keep giving too much too soon, naturally she will either keep taking, or get freaked out and run away! If you barely know her, why on earth are you giving her all your time, attention and money? Mutual investment is necessary for balance.
What Exactly Is A Member Of The Opposite Sex… a.k.a. Girls & Women?
Understand that her basic needs are the same as yours.
She needs air to breathe, food to eat, calls of nature, sleep and rest, has gone through puberty and has sexual desires, preferences & needs.
She most likely has bills to pay, typical modern-day worries in life, and probably works in a job or has a business that provides her with money for her lifestyle (unless she’s born rich, inherited money, or has a guy(s) providing her with an endless supply money).
She wants to be accepted, liked, and appreciated for her personality and character, not just exterior looks.
In other words.. she is only human.
Not a goddess from a distant galaxy to be worshipped on an altar with gifts and offerings. Women hate such guys and ultimately disrespect them.
Girls from age 9 to 99 all enjoy being girls. Be playful, teasing, light-hearted, and never overly serious and petty.
“GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN.” – WISDOM.
Class is now in session!
Pay attention and take notes.
These are real-world proven rules that once violated or not adhered to… will usually result in very uncomfortable moments of awkward silences, followed by more awkward situations, and end up with a “NO 2nd Date”.
You were warned!
Lesson 1: Approaching & Introduction
Social circle introduction via mutual friends? A random street encounter? Perhaps in a public place like a bookstore, or a night club? It varies from time, place and surrounding.
If you are in a club or pub, it’s ok to be friendly, fun and social with medium to high energy.
If she’s waiting for a cab or bus, or just walking along the street… going all high-energy on her would be madness, and out of everyone’s reality.
A simple “Hey, I know this is kind of weird, but I noticed you and just had to come say hi. My name is <insert name>. You are…?” will suffice for day settings, or even in social club settings.
Don’t start going too deep into strange topics like marriage, religion, sex or her family, etc. Be sure to share about yourself without revealing everything in one sentence, and expect her to hold up her end of the conversation when you’ve done your part.
Be playful, light-hearted and most importantly, self-amusing.
Tease her and treat her like a bratty little sister of yours and she will have fun.
Give her fun nicknames.
As long as she’s laughing, she can’t be angry.
Lead and she should follow.
Lesson 2: Calling
Getting numbers used to be the end-goal of most men. What would a couple of digital numbers do… ? Rule the world? It’s just a way to keep in touch. A simple “it was really fun talking to you, let’s keep in touch, and probably hang out when we find time to. There’s this really cool place we can check out.”
Simple rule for calling:
You can always start the call with a call-back humour from the initial encounter. You did give her a fun nickname right? Use it right at the start!
Keep the call short and just say you wanted to give her a call and tell her you did something interesting that day and thought of sharing the experience with her. Ask how her day went.
End the call first with “Hey, got to go, some stuff to get handled right now. Text you later!”
Recommended to end on a high note, when she’s laughing or in a positive mood.
Don’t miss-call 99 times in a day.
And never ask “why didn’t you pick up my calls”.
Call once, and text something short and fun if you didn’t get her the first time e.g. “I dialed to reach the fun channel, but it was offline or busy. Will attempt contact with planet Fun again.” – The Suave, Interesting, Yet Extremely Modest Guy.
You have important things to do in life, remember?
Lesson 3: Texting & Instant Messaging
Most guys analyse texting and spend too much time chatting on instant messages online. The whole point of these tech tools are to keep in brief touch, so you can arrange a logistical date and time to actually catch up in person, to get to know each other better.
Don’t go crazy over smileys and emoticons on Whatsapp. They tend to get creepy if overused.
If it’s on Facebook, WeChat or Line… use the stickers! They are downright cute and just a few well-placed ones that demonstrate that you are manly enough to be cute and vulnerable in brief moments, and will melt her when done right.
As with calling, end the conversation first.
You don’t have all day, nor wait till she says “hey i have to go”… and look like you have nothing better to do with your important time.
Lesson 4: Creating Chemistry On A Date
If the first thing you do when you meet her is an awkward “hey… hi… it’s good to see you, let’s go…”, then you’ve wasted all that energy building up the initial nicknaming, teasing etc.
Use it right off the bat, and her memories will instantly flood her with positive feelings. You can get away with crazy hugs, teasing spanks, and spinning her around to get physical within the first 15 seconds of meeting her in person.
This sets an important tone for the rest of the encounter… that things will be physical and fun for both of you on the date and beyond.
Motion creates good feelings when done right.
When women talk about chemistry, they mean they want to feel comfortable and a connection with a guy, while also having a sense of sexual tension that needs release later on.
Lesson 5: How To Progress Physically
If you’re crossing the road, it’s really ok to place your hand on her lower back briefly, but firmly.
Be a man. If you are going to touch her… then touch her!
Girls get freaked out by hovering and floating hands that are downright creepy.
Or simply take her hand, and let it go as soon as you cross, so she knows you are protective and not afraid to take the lead.
Be a gentleman. Open doors (except revolving hotel doors), pull out chairs. Women who resist this chivalrous gestures have serious issues… red flags!
If you are having meals, try to avoid awkward across-the-table interview dates. Taking her to McDonalds and having the guts to order the Happy Meal, and taking silly Instagram photos with the toys and boxes will serve to be more fun and memorable, than some stupid formal dinner crap date that’s probably too pricey and awkward as well.
Sitting next to her offers you opportunities to teasingly push her away while you steal her fries, or invade her space playfully. Be firm and unapologetic. Do it like a weakling and you’ll just be plain creepy weird.
Take her hand and smack it lightly when she “misbehaves”. Give her points for being a good girl. Take away points if she says something wrong (even if it’s right, you can just play around and have fun).
When walking along the street or mall, ask for her hand and spin her, and compliment how graceful she is etc.
Do fun, and unexpected silly stuff.
Most guys are afraid to the death to be fun and get all uptight and serious during dates.
Is there no wonder why she will avoid having a 2nd date with such men?
And please, avoid movies on the first date.
Trying to hope for a chance to get closer and hug her or take her hand in such situation just shows you are another typical clueless and awkward guy who tries the same shit on her.
And using movies as a common topic for conversation later on is a worse excuse.
You do have a life right? It shouldn’t be a boring crappy life, I hope.
2 hours in a dark cold theatre with her focus NOT on you, is just a plain horrible way to spend time out.
Hug her randomly. Just say I thought you needed a hug. There you go. That’s all for tonight.
Repeat that later again and she’ll really find it fun and expect more.
Need help with women and dating in Singapore? Get free coaching… click here!
Lesson 6: Communication & Connection
There are times to shift gears and not always just be fun and light-hearted.
You want to be able to connect with her on a deeper emotional level, probably talking about the goals and dreams that you and her have for your own respective futures.
Listen and ask thought-provoking questions.
Ask about her childhood dreams. Be careful to watch her response (just in case she was abused or beaten as a kid, etc).
Mix in light playful teasing during such conversations so it doesn’t get way too deep and heavy.
And obviously don’t do it in McDonald’s.
Find quieter places that allow for conversation and comfortable seating.
Again, don’t do interview-style seating. Always take the chance to sit next to her.
Lesson 7: Kissing School
First rule… keep that tongue in place.
This isn’t an all out French Kiss contest.
Take it easy, and slow. Watch seductive movies and watch how the male lead takes his time to inch forward, and allow her to lean in as well.
Don’t start shoving your tongue into her mouth like some kind of toilet cleaning scrub.
Light kisses on the lips, pulling back, looking in her eyes, caressing her face, and gradually repeating the process will warm her up.
Understand that girls won’t be ready to kiss you unless you have already proven that you are comfortable with other physical acts like hand holding, hugs and touches.
Don’t ever attempt to do the cliche movie “kiss at end of the date” crap. She isn’t going to invite you in like they do in the movies, especially when it’s awkward as hell in such situations.
If you’re outside, don’t attempt sex in public.
It’s a horrible thing to do on a first date, typically.
Makes you look like some kind of cheap slut, more you than her.
Lesson 8: Your place or mine?
Yes, if you do stuff right, from step one till now of meeting her to date.. it is very possible to wind up in an intimate rendezvous on the first date.
The first date can be anything between 60 minutes, to a few hours, depending on the day and time, and mood of the date.
If it’s a first-time lunch-meet, you probably shouldn’t expect sex to happen (unless you already set the groundwork prior).
Women want to give in to the right guy who’s smooth (not player), discreet, and knows how to take the lead.
If you’ve been consistently a fun, playful, and conversationally-connectable guy, you can test to see how ready she is to take things to the next level physically.
Body language doesn’t lie.
If she’s been comfortable with hand holding, hugs and other physical touching & playing etc, she is more able to accept visiting your place or perhaps even inviting you over for a drink.
Make sure your place is clean and not an animal cage.
During the conversation, you would ideally have mentioned stuff you keep at home, or interesting collections or movies you have at home. Or perhaps some kind of vintage or rare beverage or food that she should absolutely try.
Find out early if she’s going to work early the next day or not, so chances are higher that she’s ok to visit, or invite you over/in.
If a sexual rendezvous does not look possible, don’t push for it. Always end the date light-hearted but with an aggressive “sexual intent” that she knows she wants to be part of, soon in the near future.
(By the way, if you don’t have a place that is convenient… feel free to email us at firstname.lastname@example.org, and we will suggest some of our creative ideas. You’re welcome.)
Lesson 9: Foreplay
The real deal is in the mind.
If she isn’t turned on mentally by you, the sex is going to be mechanical and probably boring too.
Most porn made for men are 95% unrealistic.
Go read up some romance novels… or better yet, go watch “50 Shades of Grey” and understand that women, just like us, have fantasies, fetishes, preferences and desires.
It’s not a “(f)lick the bean” special move that does the trick.
Women are like not like switches that go on and off.
They need time to warm up, and no… 5 minutes doesn’t count as a warm up.
What’s the rush? Bathroom quickie it’s not.
If you are home, make sure you engage her senses with light sensual music in the background. Just don’t go crazy with lighting candles and overkill stuff.
Less is more. Simple is good.
Don’t start ripping her clothes off like the Hulk, or attempting to perform your magic one-handed bra-off trick too soon.
Avoid the erogenous zones at the start, and take your time smelling her, light kisses on the neck, touching the back, and playing/light tugging with her hair etc.
Lesson 10: Sex
Ahhh.. the end goal. The final touch-down. The home-run.
A cool guy who knows the rules of the game, already assumes sex will be a natural course of a romantic interaction between a man and a woman. She’s also human and went thru puberty like you, remember?
How well do you understand the female anatomy? Do you even know what a clitoris is, and how women achieve climax and orgasms? Do you know which positions will hit her G-Spot better and deeper? Did you know that rhythm is more important than speed? Does penis size really matter? (Actually it does.. if you are 3 inches max… we may have a problem… but there are natural exercises that can increase sizes. Google them.)
Are you proficient in “dirty-talking”?
And just because she sleeps with you, does not necessarily mean she wants a serious relationship afterwards.
We definitely recommend not “courting” and “chasing” her for 3-6 months, before finding out later that she is horrible and inexperienced in the bedroom department…
You would regret having spent so much time and energy on the entire process.
Find out early.
Sex is a natural thing between a man and a woman.
Get a grip… It’s not a blood sacrifice on an altar of the gods.
Most women who have experienced good sex will not put up silly resistance (token resistance, likely) with the right guy who knows how to take things to the next level like a man.
Obviously… use protection. Don’t be a dumbass. You never know who she’s been with before, and it’s just a sign of being irresponsible, which accounts for a lot of resistance and rejections at this stage for many guys.
By the way, don’t go crazy into weird fetishes of yours during the first time. It’s way too soon for BDSM or whatever aerial helicopter stunt you learned in some porn channel, unless she’s the one requesting for it specifically. Just don’t.
Sex is such a huge topic that it deserves 793.28 blog posts on its own.
Guys who don’t understand the basics… are simply not getting it from women who know good sex.
(By the way, there’s a good reason why there are a lot more sex toys designed for women than men.)
Go read up. That’s what the internet is for.
Bonus Lesson: Getting Into A Relationship
Most guys get into one too fast and too soon.
They grab the first girl who shows interest in them, or try too hard to persuade her with endless gifts and money to get the girl to see them as a worthy mate.
Bad idea, Einstein.
If you have options in life, you would carefully select your companionship, right?
If you are new and learning about women and dating, we definitely recommend meet a few and really just go on light-hearted dates before entering anything serious long term.
Too many sad stories from guys who ditch their self-improvement journey too soon for the first girl that shows interest in them, and come back crying to us after a few weeks or months, saying “you were right…” after the girl ditches them for someone else.
Worse yet.. some of these guys end up years in a relationship they wished never happened.
Sex should be a natural thing with women you meet as well.
Get used to it.
Both genders go through puberty. It’s not a gender-exclusive mutant ability that only you have.
Women are horny as hell, but better at restraining their needs to the wrong guys.
Those who try to defend and fight this fact, have probably never experienced good sex, or are just weirdoes. Avoid them.
Angry women usually have bad sex in their lives.
Happy ones have great and healthy sex lives.
Just our experience!
This is a quick lesson that barely scratches the surface.
Many details are impossible to be covered in a single blog post.
A guy has many things to learn in this complex society we now live in.
Yet learning them well will differentiate you from the rest of the “competition”.
95% of most guys don’t know, or are able to do stuff with women well.
You decide which camp you want to belong in.
Cool guy who gets sex regularly… or Friend-Zoned chump who is forever frustrated?
Empower yourselves, guys!
P.S. Need help? Dating can be complex in modern society. We understand. Free dating coaching (valued at $150) in Singapore is available. Let the male ego take a backseat and recognize that you may not know all the pieces of the puzzle. Take advantage of free dating coaching in Singapore… Click here!